What I Hate About Fanfiction
by ThatGrayAreaInCompanyPolicy
Summary: Just some things that I had to get off my chest. Inside, I chronicle the deal-breaker level turn offs that I see way more than I should in Fanfiction.
1. Chapter 1

Hey everyone, just thought I'd get this little piece out as a way to vent about the things that bother me in fanfiction. As I'm working on chapter 4 of Hadrian Peverell, Heir of Grindelwald, I'm also reading fics, as one does. I really just needed to get this off my chest. There are a few things that when I see them automatically get me to stop reading those fics, or if I see them in the description, prevent me from reading it, and I'm going to share them with you, and you're going to listen.

Giving Naruto a Sharingan.

Of course, the infamous Legendary Ass-pull, the Sharingan. It's an eye that prevents people from developing Naruto's skills in a way that feels like Naruto.

One of the key conflicts in Naruto, in my opinion, is the way that he is rivals with Sasuke. Giving Naruto the Sharingan practically negates that rivalry, unless you introduce MORE ass-pull. Most of what Sasuke has going for him is in his Sharingan. His other strengths are his chidori variants and his curse mark. He would have never been taught the chidori without the Sharingan, as it causes dangerous tunnel vision. He would have never been given the curse mark without the Sharingan either, as he was targeted for his eyes. Giving Naruto the Sharingan makes him equally viable for gaining both of those advantages.

Giving Naruto the Sharingan gives authors a crutch for fight scenes. I've found that even if they have him training other techniques, when they actually write fight scenes, they default to Sharingan techniques. For that matter, whenever they write fight scenes with any character with a Sharingan, they lean on Sharingan techniques far more than they should. It happens like this without fail, and it bugs the hell out of me.

Of course, there are rare exceptions to this rule, where the writers don't lean on the Sharingan techniques too much. But too rare for my liking.

There are also some fics that have a character named 'Naruto' with a Sharingan that are just fine. But in those fics, it may as well be an OC with Naruto's name, which is just fine and dandy. A perfect example of a fic like this is Naruto: Uchiha Cronicles Redux by Narutoxsharingaxenthusiast. Check it out for a good example of what I'm talking about.

But seriously. If you want to give Naruto a dojutsu, give him the Rinnegan. It's more powerful, but at least its variance, and there are way more people writing good Rinnegan stories than Sharingan stories.

Adult/Child ships

Please stop. I beg of you. If I have to see one more Harry/Snape fic on this website, I'm gonna lose my goddamn mind. And it's not just this one- any ship between an adult and a child grinds my gears in all the wrong ways.

Please understand that writing these ships enables pedophilia, and is frankly super disgusting. I often see Harry, Hermione, Draco, Naruto and Sasuke all paired with MUCH older characters. It really rubs me wrong that people are writing stuff like this, and I would prefer to never see it again in my life. There's not much else to be said, as I've never actually read a pairing like this, but stop.

It's shameful that I see as many of these as I do, and I need you guys to stop writing that garbage.

Tracing canon without deviating

This is such a disappointment, more so than the other two. You read a description that sounds like a really awesome story to read. Then you start reading, and it starts as you expect it to, with cool variance, and you think you just found a new story to follow. Then you hit the first major plot point, and the same thing as canon happens (Harry and Ron killing the troll in the exact same way, or The Bell Test going exactly as it did in canon) and you just stare for a second and try to process your disappointment. You decide to give it another chapter, and the same thing just keeps happening.

I hate it, and I need my fellow authors to be more courageous in their writing. I know that deviating from canon can be scary; you're delving into territory unknown. But, you should be developing all of your characters in a way that you can deviate and still know how they'll react to what you throw in front of them. That is the whole point of writing fanfics, putting your own spin on a story that you love. So, put that spin on it and stop being such a wimp about it.

In the same vein is writers trying to make the main character stronger, but then having the same canon obstacles cause them more trouble than when they were 'weaker' in canon. Stop it.

That's batch 1/?. I'll update this list in packs of three, so I don't know when the next one will be out. Feel free to comment things you hate about fanfiction, or to dispute what I'm saying. I give my word that I will address each and every meaningful comment in the update after you comment it. Cheers, ThatGreyArea


	2. Chapter 2

I suppose that I should make another one of these, as they're so short and easy to write. I did notice that I got a few troll comments, so I'll address those first. I feast on your salt.

Reviewer: **To be Honest with you on number 2 most fabrics warn you who they are pairing up. If you don't like it don't read it. There are people who DO poo in a those kind of ships. Don't hate.**

If you actually read the following sentences, you'll notice that I did say that I hadn't actually read any of those fics. Good on those authors for making sure their pedophilia is clearly labeled. Once more, adult/child ships are gross, and they encourage a culture of pedophilia

Reviewer: **Lol all the things you hate actually gets reviews and favorites your stories suck kid get good**

Twilight is also critically acclaimed. Just because something is popular doesn't mean it's good. I'll just disregard your opinion because you're a fan of shitty tropes.

Reviever: **At least I can enjoy a Sharingan Naruto fanfiction, which is more than I can say about any of yours.**

It's a lot easier to enjoy power fantasies than actual plot : )

When Authors create an OP main character without scaling the challenges they face.

We've all seen those stories where Naruto stomps the entire Akatsuki before the Chunin exams, or Harry has destroyed all of the Horcruxes and is just waiting to kill Voldemort in the graveyard at the end of the 3rd task. Those stories are generally pretty boring to read. Sure, you have a decent power fantasy to jerk off to, but there's no actual substance to a story.

Just like there was the exception for the Sharingan Naruto fics, stories by Noodlehammer (not the spinoffs) do a great job of having overpowered protagonists.

When people write children as if they'd never interacted with a child before.

I'll admit, I'm probably at least partially guilty of this as well. I don't interact with children on even a semi-regular basis, so I really don't have a great frame of reference for how they behave.

This isn't a huge thing, but especially egregious cases break immersion completely, and are hard to ignore.

Generally, time travel stories are offenders. Having the character that time traveled speak like an adult is fine, but it's the other kids they interact with are the problem.

Paragraphs of descriptive language.

"Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got myname) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topicand I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them."

Perhaps the most egregious example ever, some authors' inclusion of paragraphs of prose can feel just as bad at times. When you see a good concept, and then have to suffer through painstakingly detailed descriptions it can really kill the vibe.

 **That's all for today's installment. Remember, I feed on your salt, so go for it. As always, if you flame anonymously, you're a pussy with no conviction. Toodles.**


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